A scrutiny on love and friendship !

I was requested for writing something regarding love and friendship in this blog by one of my cherished one. Let’s see what debris I fabricate here today.

Two years back a spiritual person from India (They call “Shadhu Baba”) came to Dhaka city and being fascinated in all these kind of things I with one of my friend went to him. He said many things about me…..but one thing knocked me- “You will be a politician at the age of 40”. Why am I telling you this? As I want to say my political views of love now. In the area of political philosophy, love can be studied from a variety of perspectives. For example, some may see love as an instantiation of social dominance by one group (males) over another (females), in which the socially constructed language and etiquette of love is designed to empower men and disempower women.

Should the ethically minded person aim to love all people equally? Is partial love morally acceptable or permissible (i.e., not right, but excusable)? Should love only involve those with whom the agent can have a meaningful relationship? Should love aim to transcend sexual desire or physical appearances? May notions of romantic, sexual love apply to same sex couples? Some of the subject area naturally spills into the ethics of sex, which deals with the appropriateness of sexual activity, reproduction, hetero and homosexual activity, and so on.

I was reading a paragraph during my IELTS preparation test where they divided love into many ways with some Greek names like Eros, Phlia and Apage etc. I am not going to describe them. The nature of love can also be classified by these ways- Physical, Spiritual and Emotional. Oh there is another one- Romantic love. I am not going to tell something about romantic love like the way Plato described but just want to tell something about modern romantic love. Modern romantic love returns to Aristotle's version of the special love two people find in each other's virtues-one soul and two bodies, as he poetically puts it. It is deemed to be of a higher status, ethically, aesthetically, and even metaphysically than the love that behaviourists or physicalists describe. lol. How Aristotle did know and guessed all these ages back I wonder.
Let’s move to friendship now. Friendship is a kind of virtue, or implies virtue, and it is also most necessary for living. Nobody would choose to live without friends even if he had all the other good things.... There are, however, not a few divergent views about friendship. Some hold that it is a matter of similarity: that our friends are those who are like us. Others take the contrary view.... This is what Aristotle said, not me! According to him there are 3 types of friendship- Friendship based on utility, Friendship based on pleasure and Perfect Friendship based on goodness.

Friendship, as understood here, is a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other's sake, and that involves some degree of intimacy. In friendship and relationship, just as those who possess any superiority must put themselves on an equal footing with those who are less fortunate, so these latter must not be annoyed at being surpassed in genius, fortune, or rank. It is virtue, virtue, which both creates and preserves friendship. Since the law of our nature and of our life is that a new generation is for ever springing up, the most desirable thing is that along with your contemporaries, with whom you started in the race, you may also teach what the goal is to us. But in view of the in-stability and freshness of mortal things, we should be continually on the look-out for some to love and by whom to be loved; for if we lose affection and kindliness from our life, we lose all that gives it charm.

Now I will say something which is commonly recognized to the people who are acquainted with me. In my views, in this Bangladesh Society young chaps do not know or can not differentiate between love and friendship. In this society a girl consider a boy as his friend but a boy can not. May be there are exceptional cases but I am talking about masses. In this society a boy can love a girl but a girl can not and vice versa. Even if they do the result is a separation or early divorce after getting married or even before getting married after having a long time relationship finding them in the middle of no where after all these days. A statistics showed the ratio of early divorce in Bangladesh which I saw in newspaper few weeks back, reveals the fact that, one of the major reasons of this separation is loosing curiosity or interest on the partner which calls post marital affair hence originating dilemma in family and relations. The scenario was not like these two decades back. Why is it like this now? Western culture? India? Satellite channels? Internet? I have no suspicion. I just want to give one statement before I conclude this writing. Yesterday “Dhabi” group from UAE came to Bangladesh and showed interest investing couple of hundreds million dollars in this country in many aspects which includes telecommunications, bank and stuffs. Prime Minister’s China visit also focused investment from China in Bangladesh. India certainly is not contented with all these. Who brought illegal arms in this country? India. Who tried to make this society faster? India. Who brought drugs in this country? India. But India being a fast society could cope up with the growth of their fastness which Bangladesh could not. We only took and taking the bad belongings from the Indian civilization and culture. Satellite channels from India are like venom to these days Bengali generation. Indian boys and girls do make friendship and do fall in love, break apart, do get married and separated but not the way satellite channels show. Bangladeshi this generation tried to be as fast as this running Indian society and eventually took the dreadful possessions from them. Where are we going today? Where do we want to go today? Should we ask Microsoft? As they opened their office in Dhaka recently as a depot of Indian outsourcers, but giving eyewash to the BD people that they will do something in the educational sector in Bangladesh?

Where did I actually start? Wasn’t my topic about love and friendship? Why am I being political? Is my now 28 calling my 40s right now? I think I am over keyed up right now and it will be healthier if I stop writing this expose.

This is all I had to say. One piece of advice on parting. Make up your minds to this. Virtue (without which friendship is impossible) is first; but next to it, and to it alone, the greatest of all things is Friendship. And Love? “Love, to hell with the rest.”

Please do not assume I am out of my psyche dear reader!!

Regards,
Mustaquim

Stress !!

Today I had a break at work at the ending part of the day since I had a small accident and staying home after 2 PM. So I considered writing a slight on the blog.

Before I, proceed further, may I request to my extremely selected blog reader’s to kindly promote my blog to other acquaintances of you who you think might have some awareness on what I write down here. I will be obliged and annotations from others will also give confidence to me for marking up things more here in the future.

So what do I write here today? As you see I have already preferred the title “Stress” so I want to say something fanatical (according to many!) about it underneath!!

“That which is always right will always eventually triumph and that there is purpose and worth to each and every life!” It’s a quotation I found online, don’t remember whose.

That is right you will eventually triumph because there is purpose and worth to each and every life! Your life has worth and is valued. Every life touches another life because they both have worth and value each other.

Imagine all the lives that you have touched for the Good in bringing out the best in that person. What would happen if your life actually did not exist and those people whose lives that you affected for the Good in bringing out the best in that person never happened. Why you are watching this on a screen and you want to help out that person because you really have the desire to help them out. However you are powerless because your life really never happened. All that for you did never happened because you actually did not exist as a person on the earth. How would you feel? Why you would want to do everything to help out all of those people in your life that you personally knew!

That would make you an optimistic person because you would actually be reducing the stress in their lives and thereby bringing them happiness. However you must actually have existed as a real person to have touched their lives by bringing out the best in that person!

So it is with us today who live with lots of pain, mental tension and anxiousness, depression you name it! How many people have we touched just by trying our best in our life with this entire problem? We have touched more than those we love. We have actually touched people in being our best by bringing out the best in them because we actually do exist as real people. What kind words of encouragement did you offer or say “Thank You” to that stranger who you never meet before? You have actually touched their life in a positive way that will impact them for the rest of their life; with your first impression of behind an optimistic person. Even if it is just listening to what they have to say and they wanted to tell a total stranger their story you have again actually touched their life in a positive way that will impact them for the rest of their lives and to those with whom they come in contact with.

We can actually spread optimistic feelings about ourselves by being first of all an actual optimistic person as a reality in our daily lives.

Sure we all have problems in life. I have many of my relatives, cousins, students who have it altogether. Then one day they tell me that they had an impact in their life in a positive and optimistic way. I asked how? “By your warm sincere caring smile there is purpose and worth in your life and you have changed our attitude by actually just working so hard in getting off of disability that your purpose in life is to teach us folks with no health (Mental and or Physical) problems what mountains you are willing to soar to have worth and purpose in your life makes us all the more reason why I want to do better and have worth and a purpose in my life as well as you does!” – They replied!

I got to meet many of my relatives, friends as well as students whose lives I really never realized I actually touched by being an actual optimistic person in reducing all the problems by reducing the stress in life hence boosting up their confidence.

But one last issue still leftovers for me which no one actually answered (if they ever thought of it by the way). Am I really a perfect person just by touching other’s life being optimistic? There are people around who really are passionate about me thinks I am rude! Where is a person like ME for ME?? To boost me up, to remove my stress, too touch my life? Where is that optimistic person for me?? After reading this posting will there be anyone, lol?

Think about the impact that you actually have had in someone else's life!
Think About IT!

Sincerely,
Mustaquim

A tree without any root!

My posting given here was read by an elder brother of mine from our high school this evening who works in Intel Corporation and he thinks it really gives us an insight into DECISION MAKING.

Consider a group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track. The train came, and you were just beside the track interchange. You could make the train change its course to the disused track and saved most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way? Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make?

Analyse the situation
Think and reflect
Decided your answer

Now … let’s go ahead. Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. To save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place? Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was.

This kind of tight spot happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how predictive and knowledgeable the minority are. This kind of rootless tree is growing up in our nation rapidly which is and will bother the upcoming future of the country dangerously.

The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

To make the proper decision is not try to change the course of the train because the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one. As they say "Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right."

Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.

Take care all the valued readers of my oversensitive and peculiar blog. Best Regards from Moyen.

recalling past which rising up questions

We were living a life after 9/11, then after 7/7 and now after 8/17. Feeling overconfident to write something after 8/17! lol.

I have been scanning and skimming through the other blogs as guidance by my philosopher friend Ed. Few bloggers are putting religion in their posting hence building their article an exciting one. So I thought why not I give a fire about it? After all, today was Friday “The Hazz day for deprived people” as I heard once by an Imam while howling at the start of his request to Allah after finishing “Jumma Prayer” period back.

Back to my early school life, a friend of mine was very pious (when we were like 10/11 years old). He suddenly became an atheist when we were our late ten ages. Once I asked him “are you going to fast?” he replied “yes I will for one day but just one minute before the breaking period of fasting I will drink water”. We are good bosom friends for life and when I met him at the age of 27 I found him to be like he was at the age of 10/11, absolutely religious once again. I asked him for an explanation of this kind of amends. He smiled and replied nothing. Later after a long discussion and recalling memories I found the girl who he used to love at the age of 14, got married and she is a mother of one by that time which obviously was not a suitable basis to get him back to all his religious life! I still wonder why.

In 1993-94 periods I used to go to mosque as much as I could for five times prayer. I think I used to have a peace of psyche at least. Well life is not as easy as it always looks like and I also had to go through some stiff time later that period and ultimately started thinking in a different way. I found there are people who are weekly prayer, yearly prayer or occasional prayer apart from the daily regular prayer. I wanted to put myself in one of their group. I failed to do so. Once on an “Eid” day morning I went to “Fazar” prayer in a mosque and found there were hardly 10 to 15 people out there (It was 5:30 AM). But the mosque had to arrange extra room for the “Eid prayer” just after 2 and half hours cause there was no room even after the arrangement was done on the roof top hence letting people stand outside the mosque! We see this regularly these days too. On Friday, you have no room in mosque for “Jumma” prayer but just 3 hours after that; there is seldom one line up in the Prayer for “Asar” in the same mosque. Couple of week back I was passing a street by taxi and found the main road is blocked because they had to assemble extra space even on main road during “Jumma” time thus causing traffic jamming. I had serious arguments on the subject of these matters with many of my friends, higher admirer and students but could not come up with any concrete resolution.

A friend told me if you miss 3 "Jumma" prayers you are out of Muslim community that is why on Jumma prayer day, at least people try going to mosque. I asked myself and then later discussed with many well how about a whole week full of evil work and then go to mosque on Friday just to keep yourself in Muslim community? I did not get a valid answer yet. Most of the time it over and done by hearing “Beshi kotha bolish na”.

"On Eid day why a rickshawala does pull another human? How come he be “Happy” doing so on a “Happy Day” ;hence Eid means Happy. What this happiness is for him?" Two years back I argued with a 19 years old boy who was my student from a very reputed English Medium institution. He started talking about "Hadis" and "Quran" and then finished telling me off my saying “Happiness is a relative thing; let everyone be happy by doing what they are doing. By pulling another human a rickshawala is happy on Eid day and this is and should be his Eid”. I stopped arguing with that child and thought what the forthcoming future generation is available to be and what their thought about other people and their right will be.

I hate the whole idea that I don’t pray anymore. Even on “Eid” day. It’s been ages. All sons (young or elder) with their father go on mosque together on “Eid” day or Friday for the prayer, except me. My mother is ashamed of this. My parents stopped yelling at me since I am 28 now. When will I again go to “Eid” or “Jumma” prayer? Perhaps when I will see a crowd on the mosque on the pray times following “Eid” and “Jumma” prayer that will need some extra arrangement on the mosque after covering the roof top and causing traffic jam on street.

Till I place something more eerie than this posting please stay fine. Kindest regards for reading my dense thoughts. lol.

What a day to post something!

A day to post something on my blog! We have bomb blast all over the country, the news started with 32 districts and when I am typing this, a friend on msn messenger holding the nick “Minimum 490 Bomb blasts at 63 Districts in BD”. How many districts are there in BD by the way? 64 as I know…. so why one missing? The bomber must have made a mistake of maintaining the database of the districts of Bangladesh within its network which seems pretty powerful to me.

What is this bomb all about? We have a strike coming on 21st Aug on the circumstance of one year centennial of the Grenade attack in Awami League meeting. Immediately before this a nice “harass” of so called bombing! (These are the bombs we used to practice on Shab-e Barat night!). Today’s violence in point of fact did not cause any casualty as far as I am concerned but it did devastate something seriously. The reputation of Bangladesh being a Muslim country with all this new bombard attack and the leaflet written on Arabic and English against Bush and Blair and bits and pieces like that dangerously smashed and ruined the metaphors of the country one time again. This is a casualty the will not heal very easily in the forthcoming days.

We have “bomb blasts” every day, in our day to day life. In family, in work, in school- with buddies or teachers, even on online chat! I keep asking for my part and my mates what sort of games you guys are putting up here. What’s this life for? Our own “bomb blasts” can be picked up but what this grenade or bomb thing doing politically to our country, the agony and long term sufferings knows no bound. We badly need to “give peace a chance”! What do you sense precious reader? Do you smell harmony while reading today’s post of mine? Till my next script cheers and continue being fine!

A boring but must one posting !

Facing I actually start redeployment here, I had to skim through poles apart blogs of the community on the web, some of which were unquestionably recommended by my chums. Tell you what, there were life stories of people from how they suffered in the country side and then had break of study till they came to the urban area and urbanized themselves to how an appealing girl is getting good evaluation in schools and being a not so superior looking one the blog author herself is not getting good inscription bla this bla that.

So the initial issue that came in my mind, is blog a thing to put pen to paper your autobiography? With a bit of luck it is not, in fact as I told earlier I want to share my own views here I must now start thinking what actually I be supposed to tell you concerning me at first place. My friends counseled me not to put on the market a story (from time to time the true prevalence of your life gives the impression of being as a legend to other people and they believe they are being emotionally and psychologically attacked by that story). But I guarantee on my very early posts today that I won’t tell whatever thing here to attain something from a big cheese rather to get some statement, not any consolation or support.

Introduction

I am an Engineer guy. My major was Computer Science and Engineering. Currently involved running my own comapany- Ralico Enterprise. Thats from where I named my blog page- ralico! I mainly do outsourcing through this company with some other US comapnies. Pretty steady for last one year but sometimes give me hard time too. Besides I have one job, a Project Manager post in a local private software company. Apart from all these schooling has always been my passion from my early student life. Still involved in some teaching both to carry out my leisure pursuit and earn my bread.

I crave to articulate a number of stories of my life with the length of my judgment and opinion about diverse things and would love to collect annotations by the visitors.

I suppose this is relatively adequate overture my guest needs to know about me.